When I was pregnant with Miss Grace (above, photo by Lani!), I was a nervous wreck. Don't get me wrong--I was as excited as all get out--but every little change in my body, every little pang or shift, terrified me. I remember thinking weeks before she was due that I couldn't wait for her to be born so I could see her and know she was okay.
The wonderful thing about this new pregnancy, is that I know what is normal for my body. I remembered the feeling--sort of a weird cramping--that happened a few days before our positive pregnancy test with Gracie, so I knew--knew--that I was pregnant with this baby even when we got a false positive the first time around (I didn't mention that one to Steve for a few days.. It was one of my sneaky just for fun pregnancy tests, and I took it way too early. I can't help it, people--I get excited!). And after we confirmed, when I got more intense cramping, I remembered that, too. And just like with Gracie, it went on for a couple of days and then subsided. It had been so scary the first time; it seemed so unnatural and counterintuitive. But this time I knew it was just how my body would be.
I wouldn't say I'm totally calm--every once in a while a flood of emotion hits me like a Mack truck (part normal-everyday-me, part hormones)--but I feel a lot more peaceful and happy this time around, because I've decided to just be and feel really positive. There is no reason not to enjoy this, and I plan to be just as excited for this new little bug as I was for our Gracie girl.
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